First of all, sorry for the lack of a review last week.  I had way more to do than I could handle.  Starting to stabilize into a groove now though.

Correction has to be made regarding my last review.  I didn’t go to a Rasputin’s in Sacramento; it was a Dimple Records.  But speaking of Rasputin’s… the one in Vallejo closed.

Apparently, it moved to the Fairfield mall.  Damn everything.  Luckily, since I live primarily in Sacramento, I don’t have to deal with the depression of businesses leaving Vallejo yet again.  I swear, it’s the bad seeds in our town that’s keeping it from living up to its true potential.  What I wouldn’t give for some good ol’ vigilante justice…

*ahem*  Well, don’t wanna rant for too long.  Let’s get the review started!

Speaking of not fulfilling potential…

Sailor Victory started out pretty frustrating right out of the box.  Or rather, in the box.  I literally had a lot of trouble getting the cassette out of the freaking box.

Sailor Victory is… um.  Well…

It’s pretty bad.

When I first saw the opening sequence and its shameless full frontal nudity, I thought “well, this is the main selling point of the series.”  Nope.  The nudity sequence in the opening is RECYCLED once per episode.  No new nudity scenes throughout the entire two-episode series.  If you bought this for nudity, you need not watch past the opening.  It’s not even that great… I mean, seriously… they couldn’t at least have bothered with some panty shots?  It’s like you might as well not have any nudity at all if you’re only going to recycle the same shots.  It’s just lazy!

Jeez, did I just say all that?  Shame on you, Sailor Victory.  Look at what you’ve done.

Before the opening, we get a little narration to introduce us to the setting… Very little narration.  Basically, all we learn about the world is that it’s called Tatsu-Asuka, and is definitely Not Earth.  Then the opening.

After the opening we see some impressive mecha on mecha action… and it turns out to be a video game played by the ditz of the team, Mami.

Turns out that there ARE some giant mecha ninja robots.  Er… giant ninja robots?  Giant robot ninja?  I could be at this all day.  Moving on… from left to right the robots are Gion, Sagano, and Momoyama.  The purple-haired rich bitch named Reiko is apparently the leader of the team and started Project Sailor Victory, I’m assuming on a whim and Just Because.  She’s arguing with assistant scientist Shizuka, who thinks the red robot needs the giant drill to make up for its lack of melee options.  Reiko thinks the drill needs to go because it ruins the aesthetics.  I respectfully disagree.

We’re introduced to Kiyomi, the brash, action-hungry girl that can’t wait to show off how awesome Sailor Victory is.  Rounding out the three-gal combat team is Mika, who has no defining traits whatsoever.

Let’s review: Mami, the crybaby klutz that acts like she’s half her age, Kiyomi, the violent hothead, and Mika… the other girl.  It’s the Powerpuff Girls if we replaced Blossom with a cardboard cutout of Blossom.

Well, trouble finally rears its head in the form of a thief piloting a giant mecha armed with a gatling gun.  The police Patrobots are no match for it.  It’s time for Sailor Victory to finally make its debut!

All five members enter the same pointless nudity sequence shown in the opening (I assume as part of a “transformation” sequence, except there was no transforming – they just posed nude) and show up in sailor uniforms in their secret base.  I guess this is why they are Sailor Victory, even though they never show themselves to the public as such.  They stay inside their giant ninja mecha, so the “Sailor” part is completely lost.  Not that it matters, I suppose.

Reiko tries to rally the troops before their first battle with a long speech, but the three pilots rush to their mecha in the middle of her speech and launch into battle.

I actually love Sagano’s giant drill.  Inexplicably, it turns into a cross shuriken, which can also turn into shoulder pads.

Sailor Victory does well, but the villain designed to be blatant fodder stays in there surprisingly long.  Why?

Because of Mami, who is dangerously incompetent.  She spends the battle tripping during her landing, hiding, and finally joining the fight by tossing caltrops into Kiyomi’s path.

Before continuing, I have to note that there is a lot of groan-inducing “girl power” trash talking going on.  It doesn’t really have much of a point.  Most of the dialogue is just outlandish and self-parodic, IMO.

Mami’s incompetence gives the mook enough openings to kick Sailor Victory’s collective asses.  So Reiko and Shizuka show up to save the day by dropping a package for Mami.  The device inside is said to be something that can unlock the true potential of Gion.  What is it?

It’s an android duplicate of Mami, named Ammi.  She looks exactly like Mami but has some of the same mannerisms as Reiko.  Also, she isn’t a dumbass.

So how is this android supposed to unlock the true potential of Gion?

By pushing Mami away and piloting Gion herself.

With Mami finally out of the picture, it doesn’t take long for Sailor Victory to wipe the floor with the villain and win the public’s adulation.

As Sailor Victory racks up more and more victories, the police force is further painted as incompetent.  This doesn’t sit well with the chief.

He hatches a plan with a witch named Miss Margarita to make his police force respected once again.

Miss Margarita kidnaps some important politicians and demands jewels in exchange for letting them go.  A bit dry and cliche, but gets the job done.  But Sailor Victory will have none of that.

They take on Margarita’s giant mecha head on and promptly get their asses kicked.  The Patrobots move in to take Margarita down, as it’s the plan to have her take a dive to make them look good.  Margarita reneges on the deal and trolls everyone involved by transforming them into various gag props.

Sailor Victory regroups from their defeat and take a more tactical approach, aiming for Margarita herself instead of her overpowered robot.

Reiko and Shizuka sneak into Margarita’s base-ish thingy and hold her up, temporarily weakening her mecha.  Unfortunately, Margarita’s a freaking witch, and the two are quickly captured.

However, Ammi makes a daring sacrifice play, leaving Gion to block the giant mecha’s super attack, giving Sailor Victory the opening they need to defeat the evil mech once and for all.

Let us not dwell too long on how Mami is suddenly competent enough to pull off the combination attack they use to defeat the mech.

So, the day is saved!  What do our heroines do next?

They lounge around in bikinis.  A full minute is spent with poorly “animated” panning across the characters to ooh and aah at how sexy they are.

Until of course the call comes in for Sailor Victory to enter the fray once again for love and justice and such!
Cheez – 3
I almost want to categorize this as a comedy, but while it has all the makings of a parody, it takes itself just seriously enough to consider this a straight up B anime.  Sailor Victory is outlandish and… that’s about it.  Enjoyable, sure, but utterly shallow and unwilling to commit to… anything.

Pleasure Rating: Guilty Pleasure
Sailor Victory is without a doubt BAD.  But the dub script especially makes fun of the entire scenario so it feels like a parody.  It fails to be clever enough to really be a proper parody, though.  I honestly think this was a serious attempt at making a comedy giant mecha team series.  And to be fair, it’s actually pretty damn funny at times.

Rewatchability: 2
It’s short and entertaining enough to warrant a second view, but only if it’s to show it to someone else.  For the most part, anyone could do so much better at any time.

Music: Catchy Theme Song
The ending song especially is actually pretty good, and there are a couple of honestly awesome tunes during the episode.

Marketability: 2
It gets points for blatantly trying to use a formula, but all of the characters are just so bland and shallow that you end up just not giving a damn.

The only thing Sailor Victory is good for is its downright absurdity.  Since it’s only 2 episodes long, it isn’t quite long enough for the novelty to wear off before it ends.

Not quite terrible, but incredibly pointless.

I may post nudity screens in a couple days along with my promised 801 T.T.S. Airbats fanservice dump.