I have no idea what this is exactly supposed to be. I got it from a hentai site, but it appears to be an educational show about Greek mythology. It has one of those Japanese voice over guys that you expect to hear when it’s time for a commercial break, so I’m assuming this was on broadcast TV. What *time* it aired, on the other hand, is up in the air.

The program starts out in a bar where I’m assuming a guy is trying to pick up an absolutely gorgeous woman by teaching her about Greek mythology. I don’t know if that’s actually the case, but he does spend a lot of time teaching her about Greek mythology, so let’s assume it is. May be more interesting that way.

 

This program is significant in that it is (in my opinion) the most accurate depiction of Zeus ever drawn. Face it: all of those perverted main characters in ecchi comedies? They were based on Zeus, minus the powers.

The first story he tells her is that of Leda. One day, Zeus sees her bathing and decides he wants some of that. Of course, since Hera is also an *almost* all-seeing god, he needs a disguise. And thus we are borne witness to his master plan.

 

Turn himself into one badass-looking swan and get laid.

 

Wait, it actually WORKED? Those Greeks.

 

Now, you’d think that if you just made it with a swan and it turned out to be ZEUS, KING OF THE GODS, you wouldn’t react with horror. Well, considering what Hera did to you if she found out, which she usually does, such a reaction is justified.

 

The next story is that of Europa. Zeus thought she was pretty hot, so he turned into a bull and asked her to ride him.

 

 

Unfortunately, Ancient Greeks were slow to catch on double entendres. Once Zeus successfully plopped her onto a deserted island that was, somehow, secluded from the prying eyes of Hera, he revealed his terrible secret.

 

“Wow, I had no idea Greek mythology was so erotic!” Well, not so much erotic as it was thought up by a bunch of perverted Greeks. Seriously though, I LOVE looking at this girl.

 

But wait! We’re not done yet! There’s still more myths to learn about!

 

Next is the story of Danae. Danae’s father, Akrisios, heard the prophecy that he would be slain by the progeny of his daughter. Rather than do the logical thing and kill his own daughter, he chose to lock Danae away in a prison.

 

There, she prayed for salvation… and her prayers were answered.

 

…And then her prayers got frisky.

 

In the most bizarre (and it has been immensely bizarre) of Zeus’s antics, he gets it on and conceives a child with Danae AS AN AMORPHOUS GOLDEN LIGHT. Say what you will about the ancient Greeks, but they were creative.

 

Much like Zeus.

Finally, we end with the story of Alcmene.

 

Alcmene’s betrothed, Amphitryon, departs to do battle. Zeus makes note of how hot Alcmene is, and, with the help of his bro Hermes, comes up with THE MOST SANE PLAN YET! He disguises himself as Amphitryon and “returns” to have some back-from-the-war sex! Can you believe how much sense this makes? It’s hard to believe we’re talking about ZEUS, here!

 

Alcmene would later give birth to Heracles, but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Back to the bar. Our hero just finished telling four stories about Greece’s greatest playa, and he decides to move in for the kill. Since I don’t know Japanese, I don’t know what he said, but I assume it was the greatest punchline of all time.

 

The girl is so moved, she gets up and leaves the bar. Well played, Greek mythology guy. Well played.