Hentai Hump-Day! Etude II: Early Spring Concerto

Welp, here we go again…

HumpdayJust two more episodes of Cream Lemon left…

I have to say, it’s been difficult juggling posts with work and sleep, and it’s starting to catch up to me.  As such, I have to announce that I’m planning to put an end to regular Hentai Hump-Days… probably around the first week of April.  I just can’t keep it up anymore (Ha-HA!)  I’ll still sporadically work on posts, but making it obligatory has caused me more problems than I expected.

Anyway, here’s Etude II.

Comiiiiing!
Comiiiiing!

The episode starts with Yurika getting slapped for… no stated reason.  Presumably because she had the gall to lose her virginity before her inevitable and potentially imminent death.  What a bitch.

But no time for answers: it’s a new school year!

"Man, fuck that cherry blossom."
“Man, fuck that cherry blossom.”

Yurika goes through the motions of starting the new school year, going to classes, participating in club activities… the works.  There’s a great musical number along with images of her classmates looking pretty (which, again, is just a fucking tease since none of them will be in any H-scenes).

Yurika sees Ryo speed by, and we cut to him having sex with… I dunno, some nameless bitch.

I don't know who you are, but I appreciate your efforts in filling the next three minutes.
I don’t know who you are, but I appreciate your efforts in filling the next three minutes.

The ensuing H-scene serves no real purpose, honestly.  Just… Ryo’s getting laid while Yurika is still alive.  Good for him?  It could be a better character scene if we saw more of his facial expressions, but instead it’s mostly focused on the girl, who we eventually learn is a vocalist named Keiko.  It sounded like they had some kind of history together, so I checked the first episode, and… holy crap, she really was in that episode.

I'll be damned.  Maybe there IS hope for Yurika's friends!  Or... not.
I’ll be damned. Maybe there IS hope for Yurika’s friends! Or… not.

Yeah, she was the nameless chick that was singing in Ryo’s band before Yurika collapsed and forced Ryo to take her to the hospital.  Kinda random there, Cream Lemon.  But hey, at least you’re making use of elements that actually existed instead of making shit up.  Plus, her design is pretty decent.

Anyway, she personally calls Yurika and basically taunts her, saying Ryo is hers, so stay the fuck away, sick girl.  She doesn’t seem to actually carry any sort of grudge against Yurika – she just really, REALLY doesn’t want Ryo to leave her.

Oh hey, remember when I applauded this episode for making use of an existing character instead of making shit up?  Time to put my foot in my mouth, because out of fucking nowhere, we’re introduced to Masahiko, an old friend and potential new love interest.

Shaoran, what are you doing, cheating on Sakura?
Shaoran, what are you doing, cheating on Sakura?

Yurika’s friends show up to hang out.

"Yurika, quit hogging all the guys!  Don't let our cute designs go to waste!"
“Yurika, quit hogging all the guys! Don’t let our cute designs go to waste!”

So, they all have some fun in the sun at the beach, and we’re treated to more panning shots of the girls who won’t get any H-scenes, just to fill time.  We’re 15 minutes in and it feels like a plot has yet to reveal itself.

Thankfully, the girls decide to have a bath while Masahiko peeks in on them, and it seems we’re finally going to be treated to something good… except someone figured it would be a good idea to frustratingly make it so all the best shots of their bits are obscured as much as possible so you can only vaguely get a glimpse of them.

FUCKING TEASE!
FUCKING TEASE!

We do get some passing shots of them with their nipples in view, but that’s not the point.  Just pictures of bare breasts alone isn’t very fulfilling… It’s partly about the figure and partly about the facial association, at least for me.  Somehow they managed to provide us completely unfulfilling nudity.  Le sigh.

Anyway, on to something more hilarious.  Remember that not-Daley friend of Ryo’s?  He meets up with Yurika and wears the most ridiculous shirt.

Okay.  You have a shirt that says "AIDS."  It's stupid.
Okay. You have a shirt that says “AIDS.” It’s stupid.

It seems he wants to play matchmaker and takes Yurika to Ryo… except not.  He pushes her into his room and pounces on her.

"It's okay.  I have AIDS."
“It’s okay. I have AIDS.”

So uh… that came out of fucking nowhere.  Turns out he wasn’t gay!  Unless, y’know… he just happens to be gay AND a rapist asshole.

Ryo shows up in time to save the day, knocks him out, and drives Yurika home without having sex with her.  Huh.  Guess he’s serious about the whole moving on thing.  Masahiko is there and they spontaneously get together because… teenagers?

Why does this feel wrong?
Why does this feel wrong?

So… sex happens.  In the epilogue, Masahiko leaves, but promises to return.  Yurika promises to wait for him.  He fulfills his promise and returns, and Yurika… isn’t dead yet.  While she’s walking by herself, she helps a little girl get a balloon out of a tree (wuuuut?) and she says the apparent moral of the story: some day, a prince will come for you.

O… kay?  Masahiko conveniently shows up, does fuck all (and peeps on her friends while they’re bathing) while Yurika’s ex saves her from getting raped, and HE’S the prince?  All he did was show up, have sex, and leave with the promise of coming back.  What the FUCK did he do to deserve being called a prince?

Well, fuck.  I guess I can be someone’s prince too.  I’ll be sure to be on the lookout for victims of attempted rape so I can stand in front of them until they realize I’m what they’ve been looking for all their lives.  Because I was physically there.  Prince material, I’m telling you.

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