First of all, let me just say that SnagIt didn’t work.  While the mod I put on Windows Media Center allows me to take screencaps from my VCR, using outside programs only results in a black screen.  So, I sadly have to continue manually pasting screencaps into Paint because it’s the fastest way to do so without missing anything.  I will be using a slightly different method, however.

Legend of Crystania was next on the list.  Turned out what I had was OVA 3 of 3… which was pretty stupid on my part.  I stopped watching it in the middle of the episode once I realized WHY I was so confused.

Decided to skip ahead to the next on the list, Night Walker.  This time I decided to wiki first.  Turns out, Eternal Darkness was episode 12 of 12.

So, here’s Shamanic Princess.

We open with our heroine, Tiara, as she starts on her quest.  What that quest is, we’re not entirely sure until halfway through the episode.  What we do know immediately is that she has the most awful voice ever.  I’d talk about how bad her acting is as well, but this is a U.S. Manga Corps dub.

Accompanying Tiara is her partner Japolo, the ferret with a smart mouth, and, for some reason, a heavy gypsy accent.

We learn quickly that Tiara is some sort of magic-user and that she’s a total bitch.  She and Japolo get into arguments very easily.  If nothing else, this anime is great at quickly conveying character relationships in just a couple of scenes.  I’ll jump ahead and mention that her quest is to retrieve an item known as the Throne of Yord, a powerful source of magic.  However, since the scope of the Throne’s power is never properly conveyed, and since most of the cast is so bland and uninteresting, we never have any reason to give a damn about Tiara’s quest.  But… that’s what it is, if you want to know.

After a dream sequence in which Tiara talks with a friend of hers names Sara, she… enrolls in a school.  I guess to be undercover… it’s never really clear.  She quickly meets some new friends that amount to practically nothing, then meets with Lina, with whom it’s obvious she has had some sort of previous relationship with.

I just have to emphasize this again: we are never told why Tiara enrolls in that school.  The school is only onscreen long enough for Tiara to meet Lina, and then we move to an encounter at night where Tiara asks Lina why she’s there.  Turns out, Lina is also some sort of magic-user, and after some lame filler dialog where questions are asked and Lina refuses to give straight answers for no reason (except maybe because of her terrible voice, but Lina’s voice is horribly miscast, so…), they battle.

Tiara calling the spirits to battle has to be some of the most impressive animation I’ve seen for a series of this era.  It’s a shame the fights themselves are boring as hell.

After Tiara outclasses Lina in round 1, Lina’s partner Leon joins the fray.  Tiara decides to up the ante, but her spell backfires due to the presence of Kagetsu, who has the ability to nullify magic.

Tiara is forced to flee and avoid battle with Kagetsu, then thankfully takes a shower as filler.  We get some scenes with Lina providing insight to her motivations, but it’s still too vague to give a damn about.  The important thing is the transition to the second fight scene.

Lina’s flute spell has solid animation, but it looks weird.  Because there are no flute sounds.  There’s a vaguely flutish music in the background that I’m assuming is supposed to be Lina’s flute, but the notes don’t match her finger movements.  At all.  It’s very off-putting.

As it turns out, Lina is in fact capable of beating Tiara when both are relying on their base powers.  So Tiara decides to use her ace-in-the-hole.

Transformed, Tiara easily overpowers Lina and Leon.  Leon responds by transforming to his own super form, and the battle renews again.  THE END.

Thankfully, I don’t have to wa-

Okay, so there’s a second episode on this tape.  Fine.  Let’s see, where did we leave off?

Ah, yes.  Leon decided to power himself up to fend off Tiara.

And Tiara was easily handling her enemies.  Go on.

Ah, there we go.  The battle is brought to an abrupt end because Kagetsu showed up.  By the way, his name is pronounced KA-get-su, except when Leon decides to call him Ka-GET-su… followed by KA-get-su in the very next sentence…

Kagetsu’s appearance is also relieving due to him being voiced by Crispin Freeman, who, as we all know, can do no wrong.  Just look up Fencer of Minerva.

In the transitional scenes between important scenes, we learn that Tiara, Lina, and Kagetsu were all friends in whatever magical realm they’re originally from.  Tiara was sent to the human world to retrieve the Throne of Yord, which Kagetsu is guardian of.  Oh, and love triangle.  That’s all I need to say.

If you think I’m joking or exaggerating about pushing filler scenes aside as being unimportant and worthless: Lina spends two minutes berating Leon for smoking.

Oh, that’s right.  At the end of the previous fight, Kagetsu promised to hand over the Throne of Yord in a few days.  Why?  He didn’t say.  But the answer was that his sister Sara was trapped in the Throne of Yord (which is actually a painting… I kid ye not), and he needed Lina to free her.

THIS IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING TIARA WANTS.  WHY ARE YOU BEING CRYPTIC AND FIGHTING FOR NO REASON?

Unfortunately, Lina fails to concentrate for just a few more seconds, resulting in Sara being re-trapped in the Throne of Yord.

Later, Tiara learns where the Throne of Yord is and that Sara is trapped inside, and decides she’s going to free Sara herself.  She has even less success than Lina, getting herself trapped inside the Throne of Yord instead.  Our heroine, everybody.

Have I ever talked about how much I hate this cliche?  I make it a point to make fun of it whenever I can.

Anyway, context.  Soon after Tiara is sucked into the Throne of Yord, she is confronted by her double.  A battle ensues, in which she is mocked for her flaws.  One can’t help but side with the double.

This battle is actually the coolest looking of the fight sequences… and it doesn’t last long because Original Tiara stabs her double in the gut with a magic sword about two minutes in.

Throne of Yord ain’t done though.

Throne of Yord takes the form of Kagetsu and tries to seduce Tiara into staying inside him.  She tries to resist, fully aware that Kagetsu is just an illusion… but honestly, you can’t say no to Crispin Freeman for too long.

The real Kagetsu appears and proceeds to be completely worthless because his only power is magic nullification.  Then Sara appears, holds the Throne back, and allows her friends to escape.  Tiara vows to one day free Sara from the Throne, but… well, she sucks at it.

This is where the tape ends.  There ARE more episodes, but you don’t really get a sense of where the series goes from here.  Yeah, she’s gonna try to find a way to save Sara, but… who cares?

If you ever get the chance to watch Shamanic Princess, do yourself a favor and watch the Vampire Princess Miyu TV series instead.

Emotion – 0
It’s obvious that this is meant to be a character drama, what with the focus being on the relationships between the three main characters and the awesome magic fight scenes being cut short, quite possibly because each fight scene is also completely pointless.  It falls flat at making you care about anyone except Kagetsu… because he’s Kagetsu.

Pleasure Rating: Must’ve Been High
The first episode was definitely a Clockwork Orange’d moment for me, but the second episode was surprisingly… better.

Rewatchability: 1
There exists a very specific set of circumstances in which I might watch this again.  MST3K-ing with an anime club, for example.

Music: Catchy Theme Song
The opening is actually pretty good, and the background music is unique.  It’s one of the surprising high points of the anime, actually.

Marketability: 2
Two words: Japolo plush.  Why you no exist?

Am I going to watch the rest of this?  Surprisingly, I’m not sure.  If I manage to come across volume 2 for a buck in my bargain bin rounds, I’m not above buying it.  I mean, I’ve bought worse.  But I’m just so amazed that an anime involving magic duels and skimpy outfits could be So.  Freaking.  Dull.  The promise of more Japolo is enough.