Hentai Hump-Day! Cream Lemon Ep. 7 of 40: Mako-Chan Ikenai! Mako Sexy Symphony

HumpdayFirst a Sonata, now a Symphony?  What’s going on, Cream Lemon?

Oh hey, it's Kuri from the GATE TV anime.
Oh hey, it’s Kuri from the GATE TV anime.

We begin the episode the way every episode should begin:

Well now, that's just ridiculous.
Well now, that’s just ridiculous.

We flash back to this morning, where we find out our heroine, Mako, is wearing a miniskirt because all of her regular skirts are in the washer.

Because we're in a hentai, Mom!  Didn't you get the memo?
Because we’re in a hentai, Mom! Didn’t you get the memo?
...or when you're standing straight up.  Seriously, did you just never buy a new skirt since kindergarten?
…or when you’re standing straight up. Seriously, did you just never buy a new skirt since kindergarten?

As she passes through the park, she encounters a little girl that threatens to cross a line we must not cross.

I've never seen such a little girl look so sultry without also being a bitchy vampire.
I’ve never seen such a little girl look so sultry without also being a bitchy vampire.

We get a scene where Mako is on the train and someone gropes her.  In about four seconds she screams loudly to draw attention to the pervert, proving that she has more common sense than today’s hentai girls.

She gets quite a few gawkers at school, first from Yuu, who dresses sloppily, I assume on purpose.

Just draw some brown squiggles around him, and he's Pig-Pen.
Just draw some brown squiggles around him, and he’s Pig-Pen.

Also from some female classmates with designs that look much more suited for hentai.

Cream-2015-07-22-05h48m22s341Cream-2015-07-22-05h48m24s713Cream-2015-07-22-05h48m12s735Of course, that just makes it more frustrating that they have no sex scenes.  Or even nude scenes.  Sometimes, I hate the 80s.

They tease her about Yuu being her boyfriend, which is an excuse to have Mako give us exposition by saying he’s merely a childhood friend.  She then proceeds to go on a date with him after school, because… she’s a liar?

At home, she turns off the TV when her kid brother watches a sexy program… which only seems natural, but we hold on her mother having a concerned look on her face.  It’s… weird and awkward.  The point, I guess, is that Mako seems very uncomfortable with sexuality… and that’s a bad thing?  Like, a REALLY bad thing?

"My daughter really needs to get laid."
“My daughter really needs to get laid.”

She gets invited to the pool by her much sexier friends, and they wonder why she didn’t bring a sexier swimsuit.  After some horseplay, Yuu and Mako fall into the pool, where Yuu accidentally gropes Mako’s chest.  As Mako walks back home, she encounters the little girl again.  She seems to want to teach Mako a lesson about sexuality, and one wonders if she’s even real or if this is some kind of Fight Club deal.

Pokemon?
Pokemon?
THIS IS NOT THE DIRECTION I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING
THIS IS NOT THE DIRECTION I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING

Mako immediately runs home and goes for the mouthwash.

Huh.  I unexpectedly really like this girl’s reactions.

Pants and a bra. Huh.  Okay, you've earned your main character status, Mako.
Pants and a bra. Huh. Okay, you’ve earned your main character status, Mako.

The next day, she’s still pissed.

Also, we quickly pan over this guy in the library.

Talk about too cool for school!  I guess the animators had a lot of fun.
Talk about too cool for school! I guess the animators had a lot of fun.

Yuu tries to make up with Mako, but… nope, still pissy.

Mako walks back home but bumps into a couple of delinquent caricatures that one assumes are just hanging out, waiting to rape the first lone girl that walks their way.

What you don't know is that Bully A is just trying to help out his best friend Bully B, before he dies from his brain tumor.  Hentai rapists are a lot more complex than we give them credit for.
What you don’t know is that Bully A is just trying to help out his best friend Bully B, before he dies from his brain tumor. Hentai rapists are a lot more complex than we give them credit for.

Predictably, Yuu comes to the rescue, then declares his love for Mako.

Y'know, saving someone doesn't automatically entitle you to their love.  Strange that it takes a hentai title to teach this lesson.
Y’know, saving someone doesn’t automatically entitle you to their love. Strange that it takes a hentai title to teach this lesson.

He kinda takes it too far and doesn’t let go when Mako tells him no, so yeah.  Nice going, buddy.

Mako bumps into the little girl again, and no one questions why this tiny girl in a red dress is in the park alone at night.

Me, I'm fine.  A teenage girl that's afraid to get laid?  Now THAT'S a problem.
Me, I’m fine. A teenage girl that’s afraid to get laid? Now THAT’S a problem.

The girl promises to teach Mako about how to have sex, and Mako freaks out and tells her to go home.

Mako lies on her bed again and mutters about how she doesn’t want to have sex.  Then the little girl shows up.

I kind of expected there to be a stalker in this episode.  Just not for said stalker to be a creepy little girl.
I kind of expected there to be a stalker in this episode. Just not for said stalker to be a creepy little girl.
I knew it, she IS a vampire!
I knew it, she IS a vampire!

She uses her magical gaze to strip Mako somehow, and…

Waaaaaaait a minute, hold up here…

Something’s VERY familiar about this girl…

The brown hair, the precocious attitude, the interest in yuri, the potential vampirism, the complete disregard for personal space… She’s Vampire Princess Miyu!

She’s just missing the glowy eyes!

Yes, that’s right: Narumi Kakinouchi and Toshiki Hirano, the couple responsible for Vampire Princess Miyu, directed and did the character designs for this episode.  Also, I need to rewatch Vampire Princess Miyu while thinking it’s an allegory for puberty.

Well, I’m suddenly a lot more invested in this episode.  Let’s see what you’ve got!

So, Not!Miyu hypnotizes Mako into playing with herself.  Again, apparently because she needs to be taught about sex.  I guess the entire world just prayed for Mako to like sex, and produced this little spirit to do the job.

OHHHHH, SHIT!  THE EYES!  Now she IS Miyu!
OHHHHH, SHIT! THE EYES! Now she IS Miyu!

After more pleasuring and more questioning, the girl finally reveals what everyone guessed in the first five minutes of this episode.

It's not rape; is masturbation!
It’s not rape; is masturbation!

So, Mako’s inner sexuality tells her to use her fingers, and Mako climaxes.  And that’s it.  Inner Sexuality seems pleased with her work and fades off with one last warning:

So the next time you masturbate, remember: That's a GOOD thing.  It means you're comfortable with sexuality.
So the next time you masturbate, remember: That’s a GOOD thing. It means you’re comfortable with sexuality.
Talk about a sequel hook!
Talk about a sequel hook!
"It's good that you're sexual now.  You might turn into a slut though."
“It’s good that you’re sexual now. You might turn into a slut though.”

Inner Sexuality fades away, then turns into an image of Yuu.  Mako screams “Nooooo!” and… credits.

Wow.  An episode of Cream Lemon without any actual sex in it.  That’s just disappointing.  Seem like a tease?  Well, guess we’ll have to wait for episode 12, since that’s the continuation.

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